Before 2016/2017, I was absolutely reckless. I was crass, overtly sexual, rude and generally made people uncomfortable. If we went further back, I made horrid jokes at the expense of anybody and everything. Thanks, in part, to public education through discourse on Twitter, I have tried and I keep trying to do better. But, the things I did, the types of conversations I initiated and a lot of things I did at that time were wrong. Absolutely wrong. I made people uncomfortable and hurt people with my actions. A part of me wants to use my age as an excuse, I was in my early 20’s. But I knew better.
There is absolutely no way to take that back. I was, I have been and I remain sorry for the things I did then. But even moving forward years later, my actions have made people uncomfortable-online and offline. In very recent times however, I have been putting in the work and trying to do better. And while the lines have seemed blurred, I have tried to improve on every single interaction I have had especially since 2017.
I am intense, I don’t always get and understand social cues, and very often, I overlook a lot of things and expect that other people I interact with would too. And because of my mannerisms, very often, I’m seen as different from who I really am.
I haven’t always gotten it right, but I have tried.
In all of this, I have never and will never touch anybody inappropriately. It has never happened, it will never happen.
Because I was called out by someone with a lot of social capital, it became easy for people to take a second look at their interactions with me and see innocent jokes and statements as meaning more, leaving out a lot of context. Many people came forward with false accusations too. But none of these things take anything away from my own actions. I fully take ownership of those actions and I can only say again that I am honestly and truly sorry. I am sorry for everything I have done. I am especially sorry to all the people I hurt.
Since September, I have been taking stock of myself in conversations with my family and friends. This time, more intentional than I have ever been. I am still doing the work to be and do better.